Dating Tip for Boys

Submitted by: A.G.

Alright boys, listen up. There’s one little seemingly innocuous phrase
y’all keep uttering prematurely that really pisses us girls off—”I’m
just not looking for a relationship right now.”  Unless a girl you are
sort of dating/hooking up with explicitly asks you where you see things
going, saying this line is presumptuous, annoying and a major
mood-killer. How? Why? These are good questions.

Let’s be honest—when you’re really into a girl, you don’t close
yourself off to the possibility of things getting serious. So “I’m not
looking for a relationship right now” can only be interpreted in the
following ways:
1. “I’m not looking for a relationship with you.”
2. “I just want to get laid right now, but I’m trying to maintain a
good-guy image by being up front about my hornball intentions.”
3. “I’m being rude and presumptuous by assuming that you want a relationship with me even though I don’t want one with you.”

Actually, come to think of it, there is really no good reason to
ever use that phrase, since we all know that it means one of these
three things, or often times D) all of the above.

It’s been my
experience that the best relationships sneak up on you precisely when
you’re not looking for one, so scaring potential mates away by
appearing relationship-phobic is never a good strategy.  If you’re not
interested in dating a girl exclusively and you have reason to believe
that she wants more, you owe it to her (and to your good guy
self-image) to be honest and explicit about your intentions. However,
if you’ve been having fun with a girl and have no idea what level of
commitment she wants from you, don’t insult her by presuming that she’s
already picking out your babies’ names.  The vast majority of my female
friends are intelligent, independent girls who would much rather be
alone or dating casually than wasting time with a guy who is wrong for
them or just not that into them. We can handle the truth. So feel free
to stop bending/sugarcoating it.

And if you’re one of those guys who goes around thinking that every
girl is dying to be your girlfriend, calm down—I just asked if that
seat was taken.

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